When You Fall Off A Horse...

I dipped it. Saturday morning. I had a total monster coming up on my forehead and it had been driving me nuts for two or three days. Hadn't even come to a head or gone red; it just sat there beneath my skin, feeling sore and getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Utter torture.

Friday was a bit of a stressful day. I was near the end of a really long blogpost, and suddenly the page refreshed for apparently no reason and I lost everything I'd written. I was sure I was going to go straight to the mirror when I got home, but luckily my other housemate Leanne and her boyfriend were home and that helped distract me. We grabbed a couple of beers and went down the park. Getting out of the house and away from the mirrors was exactly what I needed. By the time we got back home again, Kelvin was back from work and his sister and her boyfriend were there too. So we had a right houseful and it was a good laugh. The crisis was temporarily averted.

Saturday morning I felt okay-ish. I was thinking about doing my arm again just in case, but I didn't really want to do that unless I had to. I was slightly hungover/still a bit tiddly from Friday night. I went to the bathroom and thought, "I'll just look..." I could see the head coming up and that made me want to touch it and then whoops...

After sixteen days, it was enormously satisfying. And then I was like, "Damn." I got the hell out of the bathroom, quick.

So that's how I fell off the wagon. But as soon as I did, I thought, "The most important thing is that I don't use this one little slip-up as an excuse to massacre myself. It's absolutely crucial that I don't do that." That's why I backed off so fast. From that moment until bedtime it was more important than ever that I be strong, in the face of the fact that I wasn't going to get a sticker that night whatever I did. It would be so easy to decide that no sticker = doesn't matter. But it would matter. It would drag me down from reasonably pretty (finally!) to scabbed-up mess. And that would have a more damaging effect on my continued resolve than any number of missed stickers.

...So that's how I got back on the wagon :)

Peach
xxx

clever girl, way to go; three stickers in a row